No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
