i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
