the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
BRING THE BAGELS
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
