she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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