I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
