Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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