She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
she pinky promised me she was 18
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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