Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
