He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
