I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
