So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
