My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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