its not stalking. its research.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
