dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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