We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
