You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
