I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
