quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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