why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
