Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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