My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Randomize
