Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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