thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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