Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Don't EVER smell your tampon
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
