My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
