This girl is more easily done than said...
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
