and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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