Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
