I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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