it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I will die if light touches me.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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