What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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