doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
