And the cops told us we were all naked.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
