do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
