Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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