Where are you?
In a non slutty way
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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