What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
