good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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