Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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