Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
