she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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