where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
