Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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