remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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