BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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