y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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