Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
