I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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