You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
