We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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