I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
